


Sleep (baby sleep)

by orphan_account



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:54:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4270818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patroclus' guilt keeps him awake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep (baby sleep)

Patroclus' eyes wouldn't close. He couldn't manage to get any sleep, to rest his mind for even a second. Achilles was lying beside him with his eyes barely opened- sleep was going to come to him soon and Patroclus would be up all alone. He was used to staying awake while Achilles slept but that night was different. He knew that tomorrow things would change. 

 

Tomorrow he was going to die. 

 

It wasn't really in his plan but he knew it was going to happen. He was going to ride out into the field on a chariot and fight in the war in Achilles' place. Of course Achilles didn't know it but it was going to happen. Someone had to lead the charge and if it wasn't Achilles then it had to be him in disguise. He felt terrible that he was going to his death and leaving Achilles alone but someone had to do something. If Achilles was that stubborn there was no helping the situation. No amount of begging would help him. 

 

His breath came out in shallow bursts, fear getting the best of him. He knew that his fear had to be washed away by morning or else he'd never go through with his plan. Achilles snored beside him, his even breathing calming him down just a little. He wondered if the dead could feel, could long for the living without having a solid form. If it was possible he would be the one to find out. Even in death he would want him- if only that could bring him back. 

 

 _You're not dead yet._ He reminded himself.  _And you might not die. You could come back to him; there's always that possibility._ He knew deep down that such a possibility wasn't likely. The gods and goddesses were against him, against them. Maybe it was their union that angered them all- two men together was wrong in the eyes of many. But there was no way that either of them were giving up the only love that they had ever found. Patroclus had already lost so much- he wouldn't lose Achilles too. 

 

He sighed and turned on his side, staring at Achilles' sleeping face. Achilles was so beautiful that no matter what he did he looked radiant. His lips were parted slightly, his eyes fully closed, his toned arms beneath his head and golden hair even curlier from the humidity. Patroclus leaned forward and trailed his finger down Achilles' nose, earning a small noise of satisfaction from him. Achilles had said time and time again that he treasured every touch he got from him and Patroclus had returned the sentiment; what would Achilles do when he was no longer there to touch him? Would he find another? 

 

Impossible. 

 

"Patroclus." Achilles murmured and surprised him. He looked up and found Achilles smiling tiredly. "Can't you sleep?" 

 

"Unfortunately no." 

 

"Should I tire you out then?" Patroclus laughed and his chest ached with the knowledge of what would be happening in just a few short hours. 

 

"No need, you should rest even if I cannot." 

 

"You know I hate sleeping without you close. Come." He didn't hesitate at all, sliding his mat over to the man and pressing his body close to Achilles'. "That's much better."

 

"Tomorrow." He said with the last of his hope. "Will you fight?"

 

"You know I won't." He closed his eyes and refused to let tears slip out. If it was his fate to go into the field like a man he would, with or without Achilles' acceptance of his mission. He would miss his stubborn and sweet love, he would miss it so. 

 

"I love you, you know."

 

"I know and I you."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is sadder than I intended it to be. You can find me on twitter (@bumblestud), tumblr (bumblestud.tumblr.com) and instagram (@bumblestud).


End file.
